I grew to love you

[WitchBoy]

[glow=blue,2,300]I grew to love you
Even though you didn't want it
You never made any promises
But my heart always hoped.

I swear I would have told you
But you got your news out first.
And when I saw the joy in your eyes
My voice retreated deep within me.

And so you left with no regrets
I was the one left, the walking wounded
But I had to carry on, life wouldn't stop
Even if my will to carry on had.

It was just five months, it felt like years
You rang and wanted to see me
I felt the familiar tightening of my chest
Knew I couldn't keep away from you

You were just the same as you always were
But I was so changed yet you couldn't see
You thought we continue from where we left
Our "arrangement" as you called it

It never sounded so callous before
It never stung my eyes with tears
Never made me feel so ashamed
But yet, I still found myself agreeing

But I lost the plot as they say
When I had time to think about it
What you were asking of me
It was more that I could give you.

So I told you the truth in the end
It would have been a girl I said
He replied but she never lived
She is no longer a reality, she never was

And he never felt what I felt
I knew that he never felt anything at all
But she was real to me, and I felt her
And I loved her if only for sixteen weeks

Yet no one has ever known my pain
Or seen my face streaked with tears
I never let the mask slip, never stop smiling
Remaining unaffected as the world carries on

But inside there is a river full of tears
Flowing to a vast ocean of sorrow.
For I have no heart left to stop the flow
And now surely I am drowning.[/glow]