here.. you wanted useless facts.. I WIN!
For charley.. here's some animal facts
*A kind of tortoise in the Galapagos Islands has an upturned shell at its neck so it can reach its head up to eat cactus branches.
*The giant tortoise has the longest lifespan in captivity of any animal.
*The largest turtle ever found weighed 2,016 pounds.
*The snapping turtle eats carrion and is used by police to find dead bodies.
*To force a tortoises' legs from its shell to treat it, you need to place your finger up its bottom.
*You can tell the sex of a turtle by the sound it makes. A male grunts, a female hisses
*Armadillos have four babies at a time, and they are always the same sex.
*The fingerprints of koala bears are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
*A full grown grizzly bear from Western North America can bite through a piece of steel that is half an inch thick.
*At birth, a panda weighs about 4 ounces and is smaller than a mouse.
*The Kodiak, which is native to Alaska, is the largest bear and can measure up to eight feet and weigh as much as 1,700 pounds.
*One beaver can cut down 216 trees a year.
*A giraffe can clean its ear with its 21-inch tongue.
facts about sex:
*A female orgasm is a powerful painkiller (because of the release of endorphines), so headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex.
*A sex change has never been performed in Ireland.
*According to one theory, people who chew a lot of ice have a high sex drive.
*According to psychologists, the shoe and the foot are the most common sources of sexual fetishism in Western society
*According to the World Health Organization, there are approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse each day.
*Every year, 11,000 Americans injure themselves while trying out bizarre sexual positions.
*In 1969, Iowa State College conducted a survey indicating that a parent's stress level at the time of conception is a major factor in determining the child's sex. The child is usually the same sex as the less stressed parent.
*Sex can relieve arthritis pain for up to 6 hours.
* The condom-made originally of linen-was invented in the early 1500's.
facts about food:
*Althaiophobia is the fear of marshmallows.
*In a pack of Skittles candy, there is an equal 20% distribution of each flavour.
*The world's record for keeping a Lifesaver in the mouth with the hole intact is 7 hours and 10 minutes.
*There are more brown M&M's in plain M&M's than in Peanuts.
*In Paris, the McDonalds big 'M' is the only one in the world that is white, rather than yellow, it was thought that yellow was too tacky.
*90% of vitamin C in brussels sprouts will be lost in cooking.
*Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking up in the morning.
*Average Americans eat more than 22 pounds of tomatoes every year.
*Brussel sprouts are called brussel sprouts because they were discovered in Brussels.
*Eating raw onions are good for unblocking a stuffed nose.
*Onions get their distinctive smell by soaking up sulfur from the soil.
*The most common pear world-wide is the Bartlett. It is bell-shaped, sweet and soft with a light green colour.
*The oldest known vegetable is the pea
miscellaneous facts:
*In 1983, a Japanese artist, Tadahiko Ogawa, made a copy of the Mona Lisa completely out of ordinary toast.
*The IRS employees tax manual has instructions for collecting taxes after a nuclear war.
*Gloucestershire airport in England used to blast Tina Turner songs on the runways to scare birds away.
*There is a town in Texas called Ding Dong. In 1990, the population was only twenty-two people
*After the gPopeyeh comic strip started in 1931, spinach consumption went up by thirty-three percent in the United States.
*A B-25 bomber airplane crashed into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building on July 28, 1945.
*The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.
*India has a Bill of Rights for cows.
*The spray WD-40 got its name because there were forty attempts needed before the creation of the gwater displacingh substance.
*The first ever gWorld Summit on Toiletsh was held in Singapore in November 2001.
*Emilio Marco Palma was the first person born in Antarctica in 1978.
*Until the 1960's men with long hair were not allowed to enter Disneyland.
*In New Mexico, over eleven thousand people have visited a tortilla chip that appeared to have the face of Jesus Christ burned into it.
*In only eight minutes, the Space Shuttle can accelerate to a speed of 27,000 kilometres per hour.
*On November 29, 2000, Pope John Paul II was named an "Honorary Harlem Globetrotter."
*Coconuts kill more people in the world than sharks do. Approximately 150 people are killed each year by coconuts.
;D
now be happy LoL.... 
